Discover
First of all, I've been naughty and haven't been keeping up with my blog posts. I think, more importantly, I've sunk back down into my daily routine such that I haven't done anything exciting with my life since my last post. And that's just terrible.
But today is another fresh start. I just saw the movie Revolutionary Road and it was a bit scary yet comforting how it parallels my life -- particularly the character that DiCaprio played. I must say that it was an inspiring movie to a certain degree. When I heard Kate Winslet's character say to her husband, "Let's move to Paris... and I'll get a governmental secretary job... and you can be free to find out whatever it is you want to do...", that triggered something within me -- my passion to find my passion.
In the midst of all that despair in the movie, the positive and energetic spirit and words of Winslet's character to her husband reminded me of how Anything is possible. We may be bogged down by responsibilities and such, but ultimately it should be our choice and our decision to do what WE want to do with our life. If it means quitting a mundane day job that has all the wonderful benefits (e.g., high pay, good health insurance, social security, retirement funds, paid vacation, etc.) to do something we Love to do even though it may not have those benefits, then we should quit the job. Sure, it is a Big Risk and doesn't sound practical, but like Muhammad Ali once said, “He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” And doing something we Love and have a passion for means really living life.
Explore (Think and feel)
Since watching this movie, I am inspired once again to continue my search within myself for my passion in life. I am once again, filled with positive energy and a willing spirit to give any opportunity a try before saying "I don't like it." It is very hard to keep this open mindset and positive feeling everyday so I really have to give it 150% if I want to change my life around. I feel, though, that if I keep it up, I will get somewhere. I will have made some kind of difference with my life. If I die without still having found my passion, at least I will have died trying.
Share (Thoughts)
Even though I haven't been posting, I've done a lot of soul searching within the past week. I know that I am being vulnerable by posting my whole being in a place that many strangers can read about me, but it is my hope that someone out there can relate to what I am going through and maybe find some inspiration through me.
So anyway.. about my soul searching, I've thought a lot about how I grew up and how it has affected me. I grew up in a very restrictive household environment where everything I did was somehow controlled by my elders (parents included). Whatever I wanted to do that I thought was fun was put down and denied, as far as I can remember. Only now in my adulthood do I realize that it was not a healthy childhood. I lived far away from my friends from school and could not play with them after school because my overly protective father wanted to take me home to make sure I got home safely. To him that was more important than my well-being of having free-play time with my friends. With no friends to play with, the TV became my baby-sitter. So I grew up in this type of environment all alone, controlled by what other people tell me what to do, and constantly seeking approval to do something by those around me because I couldn't think for myself to say if it was okay to do or not. Now that I am fully aware of this, what will I do about it? I need to find that inner strength deep inside myself to break out of this terrible cycle -- to be able to think for myself if I approve of it or not, and why.
This is my old way of life: a way of life that doesn't think; a way of life that has No life. It's like walking through a greenhouse garden full of beautiful, colorful and fragrant flowers when all you want to do is head straight for the exit door. So how does the movie fit into all this? Like the saying goes, "take the time to smell the roses" and "live life to the fullest." Otherwise, what's the point in living if you aren't going to take the risk and move to Paris?
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